The spooky season is upon us, and while the ghosts and monsters might send shivers down your spine, there’s something even scarier lurking in the world of dating—investing your time in the wrong person! No doubt, nothing can be more terrifying than finding yourself with someone who might not be right for you.
As we approach Halloween, it’s important to be aware of these common dating monsters – be it a Ghost that suddenly disappears without a trace, a Zombie that comes back from the dead and back into your life, an Energy Vampire who drains your emotions, or a Green-Eyed monster who displays unhealthy jealousy. Fear not, because Bumble, the women-first dating app, is here to help you navigate around these dating monsters and enrich your dating life.
Bumble’s research on these dating monsters* sheds light on the Filipino dating experience and sentiments around dating scaries, allowing those looking for love to navigate the world of romance fearlessly. Here’s a rundown of these monsters, their tactics, and what you can do to escape them unscathed.
- 👻 Ghosts: Masters of the Disappearing Act
- Ghosts have perfected the dreaded act of disappearing without a trace in someone’s life, leaving the other person utterly confused, bewildered, and hurt. According to the popular dating app, half (51%) of the Filipinos surveyed have experienced ghosting someone, and 49% of them indicated that they had the haunting experience of being ghosted.
At Bumble, communication is key, and ghosting is no match for the platform’s commitment to respectful and healthy conversation. The dating app has rolled out new Community Guidelines that take action against no-shows, identifying this behaviour as bullying and abusive conduct. In fact, Bumble is the first dating platform to take a stance on members for this offense, ensuring a more respectful dating environment.
- 🧟Zombies: The Return of the Past
- Zombies are people you thought have long been gone who suddenly reappear in your life, often causing confusion and mixed emotions. Bumble’s survey revealed that 1 in 5 Filipino singles surveyed have zombied someone before, with 19% stating that they did it because they had a change of heart. When further asked why they zombied someone, 34% reconnected with past acquaintances out of a genuine desire to revive connections, while 32% of them did so to avoid uncomfortable conversations, and 29% of those surveyed believed the timing was better for a second chance at the relationship. However, 38% of Filipino singles will not allow Zombies to come back into their lives, while 31% are willing to give a Zombie another chance.
- 🧛Energy Vampires: The Emotional Drainers
- Energy Vampires are potential romantic interests or partners who drain your emotional energy by constantly needing your attention and care, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. Bumble’s research indicates that 45% of Filipinos surveyed said that they have met an energy vampire in their lives while 21% of them have been energy vampires themselves. After dating an energy vampire, respondents are now prioritising qualities such as open communication (69%), kindness and empathy (60%), and accountability (55%), which are qualities crucial for maintaining a healthy and nurturing relationship.
- 👁️Green-Eyed Monsters: The Overly Jealous
- Green-Eyed Monsters are partners who are always jealous or envious of the other partner, often due to perceived threats or insecurities. The research found that in the experience of the people we surveyed, common triggers for jealousy include partners flirting with others (55%), maintaining contact with previous lovers (43%), and not receiving enough attention (40%). Interestingly, more than half of Filipinos (55%) communicate openly with their partners when they experience jealousy. This shows that while having feelings of jealousy is normal, couples will need to have open and honest communication when it comes to addressing these feelings to continue to foster trust and build healthy relationships.
Tips on How to Escape These Halloween Monsters
To help Filipino singles deal with these dating monsters, Bumble shares some tips on how to escape them:
- Take Your Time: Don’t rush into relationships. Take your time with figuring out what you want and get to know someone first before fully committing to them. Be intentional in looking for what you desire. Rushing into a relationship can make you more vulnerable to dating monsters.
- Communication is Key: Avoid dating monsters by establishing clear and consistent communication. If your match begins to ghost you, politely express your concerns and ask for clarity. Setting expectations for communication from the start can also help prevent ghosting.
- Set Healthy Boundaries: To fend off these dating monsters, establish firm but healthy boundaries. If someone you’ve previously dated reappears and you’re not interested, kindly but firmly express your feelings and set boundaries to prevent them from returning. If your partner is draining your positivity or showing unreasonable jealousy, don’t be afraid to express your feelings and boundaries in a relationship. Honest communication is the foundation of a healthy partnership.
- Use Interest Badges and Profile Prompts: On Bumble, you can leverage Interest Badges to find like-minded individuals and use Profile Prompts to showcase your personality. This helps attract compatible matches and repel dating monsters who don’t align with your interests and values.
- Trust Your Instincts: Listen to your gut feelings. If something doesn’t feel right in a dating situation, trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to exit the situation. Your instincts can be a powerful tool in avoiding dating monsters and finding genuine connections.
Lucille McCart, APAC Communications Director, said: “This spooky season, we want our community to enjoy the ultimate treat, which is fear-free dating. At Bumble, we believe that authentic connections are rooted in kindness and respect, and we want to create a space where everyone can be their true selves. While it is not likely that we can completely avoid these monsters in life, we can actively choose to pursue the connections that are kind, respectful and right for us. If you are struggling to move on from any of these monsters who may have entered your life, just proceed with the knowledge that they aren’t your best match, and there are lots of other people on Bumble who would love to get to know you!”
*Figures from Bumble’s survey on Halloween Monsters, unless otherwise stated, are from Milieu Insight Pte Ltd commissioned by Bumble. The total sample size was 1,000 single Filipinos aged 18-42. Fieldwork was undertaken between 15 – 21 September 2023 across the Philippines. The survey was carried out online.